Until you walk a mile in my shoes

I try and remember this every day. There are things that just bug me when I see them and I try to be zen about it and remember I am not that person, why should it matter to me? One of my pet peeves is when the back windows (you know the minivans with the kids seats in the back) are plastered with stickers. So, from an outsider all that I see is stickers EVERY PLACE. So, I think why would someone let their children do that? Maybe I can justify my attitude from the fact that we never had a new car, we always had older cars, but we took care of them, and we NEEDED them to get us from place A to B. But, that would not be the truth, I simply get irritated by the "mess" of it all. What I should think is "wow, those parents are ingenious they have found something for their child to do on a long trip that will keep them occupied". All I am saying is I am trying.

So, I think of all of this because I am the youngest girl of three girls in my family. I was married first and had kids first, and as my next oldest sister said to me in our teens, "you have been nipping on my heels your whole life and I am tired of it". Yes, I did get married first. I had to deal with doubt from my sisters when I moved in with Tony (okay, we moved in together for 3 years before we got married, but I was 27 at that point!!!). I had to justify my "big move" because they had never been "in love" like this. But I did, I justified it. The only person I didn't have to justify it to was my dear sweet Mom. She said "sounds like a great idea, I really love Tony". So, years go by (actually just before our wedding) and my next oldest sister starts to date her now hubby. Guess what? A couple of months into it, they are living together? I wish I could say I didn't smack talk her, but I did, I could not resist. How could I not?

Couple of years later I had my first daughter. My oldest sister came to visit. She was neither married, nor dating anyone, had never been married and did not have any children. So, she and go shopping. I called my hubby two times during that shopping trip, she couldn't believe it. "he is her dad, he can handle it". Then two years later we had another daughter. We were all at the beach, the same sister was still not dating anyone and still not married, and we were shopping (this feels like a trend). Again, I checked in with the hubby who was now watching a toddler and a baby, again, the sister did not understand.

Guess what? The SISTER meets someone! The sister falls in love. Suddenly the tides are turning. She understands the world may not revolve around her exclusively. So, I bring this up because now the sister has a baby!!!! The sweet boy is 4 months old and just so damn cute. They are all coming down this weekend for my 40th birthday party. I hear from my Mom that the sister doesn't want to have our babysitter babysit her baby! The baby is coming to the party. The party that is out of my home, that is at a venue, that has a Dee Jay, food and alcohol. I had to laugh. I had to laugh a lot, to my Mom of course, not to the sister. I said to my Mom, you know, had this been 4 years ago, I would not have gotten away with this. But, to the sister, I said, I completely understand, it is up to you and no big deal to me. Inside, I was proud because I was mature enough now, on the cusp of 40, to NOT say anything to my sister who I love dearly. Because it is nice to see her softened and a Mommy. But silently, I will laugh all night at the party.