raising ourselves can be challenging

So, my youngest daughter, Maggie, looks quite a bit like I did at her age (she is 4). So much so that the only way she can decide if a picture is me or her she looks for red hair. That is the only difference really, I have red hair and she does not. So, yes, we look a like. My other daughter looks much much more like my husband, and acts much more like him as well. Maggie acts like me, or like I did as a kid. I remember acting like her, and I find her very very funny. I also find it very hard to raise myself. Then I try and convince myself that "surely I did NOT act like that". When, in reality, I was the third girl in my family, the third girl to working parents. As my Mom says, we ignored you kids a lot more than you all ignore your own children. What I think she meant was, parenting when I was a kid is a bit different than how I parent. My parents were very involved, but we were not that involved in "activities", both of my parents worked, and my Dad happened to be the one home with us because he was a teacher. So, in those blissfully formative years, we tended to be ignored more, our needs were not immediately met. We did not have cable, remote controls for the television, and my parents (nor did their friends) did not feel the need to fill all of my day with activities. My parents let us fight (I distinctly remember on day when I was probably 8 and my next oldest sister was 10 and we were fighting. We were digging our fingernails into each others wrists and screaming at each other at the same time. My Dad was sitting near us reading the paper very calmly. My Mom walked in from work and said "Jim (that would be my Dad) WHY ON EARTH HAVEN'T YOU STOPPED THEM". He said, I figured when they hurt each other enough they would stop. I try to have this philosophy, but sometimes I just cannot take the screaming, hitting, screaming, yelling, and screaming.

So, back to Maggie. The girl is crazy. Crazy in a bad way, but crazy. She can push my buttons like no one else. She hates to do all of the things I used to hate (cleaning, being helpful when it is something she doesn't want to do), she loves all of the things I loved, boys, being the center of attention, sucking all of the air out of the room, talking incessantly, and being a ham. The good thing is she acts wonderful at school, at other people's homes, with friends, and saves her not so nice behavior for me. She demands my attention, screams if she does not get it immediately. She wants things NOW, she wants me to do everything for her (pick out her clothes, get her dressed, brush her teeth, NOT brush her hair even though there is a huge rat in the back, she wants to be the baby all of the time). Now if anyone in my family were reading this they would LAUGH and say, that is EXACTLY how Leigh used to be.........but when I was that way, everyone was doing things for me, I was not doing things for them!

My husband gave me some excellent advice, he told me to think about what I needed from people at that age that helped me behave better. I try to think about that, I try to play games with her, and teach her patience in a nice kind way. But just a warning, if you are at Target and you see a red headed lady with a 4 year old girl, and the lady is saying "IF YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME MY HEAD WILL POP OFF" you know it is me.