How far to push our kids???

I have two girls, Tyler is 9 nipping on 10 and Maggie will be 8 in 2 weeks. Anyhow they play soccer, in a relatively competitive soccer league. During soccer season my life looks a little like this: Skills training (Maggie) Monday, Tuesday/Thursday Soccer practice for Tyler, Friday Soccer practice for Maggie and then games on Saturday and Sunday. Gah! Let's say again, my girls are YOUNG. But guess what? This is typical for *most* of my friends.

I feel very very lucky because my husband has been able to coach both of the girls, and he still coaches our youngest daughter. Tyler is now on a team where she has a fantastic coach, and she loves loves loves it. That being said, I spend A LOT of time on the sidelines, cheering, reminding myself that these girls are young, and trying to just have fun. About two years ago, I realized that I was getting too invested in my girls success on the field. I was getting frustrated when my 8 year old was not "pressuring the ball enough", or being aggressive enough. I had a little heart to heart with myself and said, hello, these are your wonderful children and they should just have fun! In order to keep and maintain my calm I picked up my camera and starting shooting the game, basically watching it through my camera lens.

Yet, I still find myself in this soccer "family". I have realized that people are SUPER serious about it. They strategize about what path their 10 year old children will follow in order to be as successful as possible. There are politics involved in this sport. Serious maneuvering. It makes me sad. I have friends who will ditch me in a minute if someone more "important" in the soccer community walks up. And I have realized that people can talk soccer all.day.long, and I have realized that is NOT me. But, am I going to make my daughter's fail? I would hope not.

There is such guilt involved in not doing every.single.thing you can for your child yet, I also have this other feeling of seriously wanting them to succeed on their own! My parents (and I think most parents in that era) took more of a if you want to do X go ahead, but I do not remember ever having discussions with them about how I played, what I could have done better, what I did well, etc. There is just such pressure for your kid to be the best, for your kid to be happy, for your kid to be a star at age 10, and I just wonder to too much is too much?

For me, watching the game through my camera lens has helped me to see it for what it is, a game. Yes, I want my children to feel good about how they played, but the bottom line is this, will they get a college scholarship from it? Will they love the game in 2 years? Will they forever treasure their weekends being filled up with soccer? Bah. I don't know, but I am trying my best to just cheer them on, and congratulate them on a job well done!