Why I volunteer

Earlier this week I had a lunch with my sister (who I always tell people is MUCH nicer than I, at least when it comes to our husbands), her family, my Mom, my kids and my sister's in laws. I was talking to my sister, Mom, and the in laws and relaying a conversation to them that I had recently had with my hubby. The hubby conversation with something like this:

him: why are you always so irritated? It seems like you are mad all of the time.
me: Well, have you EVER had a job where you fail every day?
him: what are you talking about?
me: (please note I do not think I am a bad mom necessarily, just in moments throughout the day) Well, as this stay at home mom I am suppose to cook a meal every night, help my children develop into fine human beings (without yelling at them on a regular basis), do laundry, clean the house, and be happy about it. I fail at AT LEAST one of those (usually all) on a daily basis.

So, I relayed that conversation to this group. I was not looking for sympathy, I was just saying holy crap, this stay at home parenting thing can be a challenge. So, my Mom completely had my back and totally agreed with me on how I felt. She said, that is why I worked the whole time you kids were growing up, I needed those kudos from the outside world. My sister, didn't want to make waves with anyone, so she stood silently (although in a private moment, she would totally agree with me). The mother in law looked at me like she had NO idea what the hell I was talking about. The father in law said "think about it this way, what you are doing is for your family. I had to work for 45 years, and I kept thinking, this is for my family". Of course, being the complete smart ass that I am, I said, "yes, but at work you got promotions, you had people telling you on a regular basis that you were doing a good job, and as much as you worked you gained self confidence and self worth from it".

That is when the silent stares began.

But it made me think. I do know I am a good Mom. I know that my kids are good kids. But, I also know why I volunteer during their activities and at school. It is just about the only time I consistently hear thank you! Everyone is so much more impressed with me there than at home! They are so appreciative that I come in and cut paper, or laminate, or shelve books (if you really want to feel appreciated volunteer for Mrs. Hershberger in the library, I walk out of there feeling like I have cured cancer) the smallest things I do are appreciated. I leave there feeling like I have done something good, productive and that people are grateful for my help.

I come home, full of the shine from the volunteering, and I walk into a messy kitchen, loads of laundry, and while I am trying to piece together some kind of semblance of dinner - let's say sandwiches and cut up apples, I am encouraging my child to "do her homework" (which is INSANE for a first grader, but I digress), while creating homework for the 4 year old (because after all she is a big girl). I tell my best joke only to get stares back from my children, and I let my mind wander back to bliss of the silent zone in the halls of the schools where everyone is giving me a thumbs up just for walking into the place!